This morning I was up at an hour that would make a chicken blush. I used this time to have an early morning coffee with my one true love. Double cappuccinos for the both of us and some fine pastries, too. Off to school then for Cody, I had time to ride home and relax before blitzing the hungover set with french toast and the like.

As I was a pedalin’ my Fuji single speeder my eye did espy a large pile of paving stones on a curb.

X 21

I stopped and looked about, the house looked quiet and the stones were on the outside of the sidewalk, betwixt it and the curb. 21 of the beauties just asking to be walked all over and in this town anything left in this location is fair game. Its a law and stuff.

I rode the 10 blocks home and swapped out my boutique ride for the ruff and tumbley cargo bike. I figured 21 stones would be easy in 7 trips of 3 each. Oh the folly of the Pickle! I loaded the three on easily enough but when I turned the bars to take off the front wheel did not move under the weight and instead the tie rod bent into a pretzel. The bike tipped over in the street and the stones clattered to the pavement but did not break. “Why me?”, I screamed as I fell to my knees in the center of the street, oblivious to the cars and trucks that luckily were not there. I regained composure and bent that rod back with my bare hands…

I was afraid that the mission would have to be aborted but I am a stubborn man and I still endeavored to bring this lode home so I placed one stone back on the rack and rode it home with the handlebars cocked sideways due to the mishap.

I arrived home to the trumpeting of the Wayne and dropped the stone over one of our yards many mud patches. Landscaping! I figured I could repair the bike with a lever and what better lever than a seatpost that had snapped off during a race the weekend before? Nothing, thats what! That which was broken was made whole again by that which was broken as was foretold on RAGBRAI II BC* by Sister Nun of The Above.

I was working under pressure as I had to work at 9 and it was already after 8. I rolled back and loaded up 2 stones and that worked fine. The 20 block round trip was taking me about 7 minutes with loading and unloading and I knew at that rate I would not be able to get all the stones and still make it to work on time so I did what anyone who has ever worked at a sorority house as a cook would do and said Screw Em!

I had 17 stones home and was pulling up for 2 more when a man came out of the house. I said hello and he said hello and then he told me he had just gotten these stones from his neighbor and was, in fact, planning to make use of them. I began to explain myself but he then told me that he had been watching me and was most impressed with my industriousness and was quite happy to let me have the stones provided he could come and have a look at my house and see for himself to what good use they had been put. This seemed to me to be a fine bargain so I took the rest of the stones home and now, provided Cody does not find them to be incompatible from an artistic standpoint with our front yard bathtubs, we will have a lovely path from our front door to our shed.

A restful morning indeed!

*Before Campy


3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Gritty said,

    I can see it now.

    The man and his wife around the dinner table and she asks him if he was able to complete his landscaping project today while she was hard at work.

    He turns to her and says, “You’re never going to believe this. Some a-hole stole them right out of the front yard.” After listening to his wife rattle off some not-so-kind words regarding thieves, robbers, bandits, and crooks, he cracks a smile as he takes another sip of his cold beverage and thanks the good g-pickle for once again saving the day.

  2. 2

    bikeiowa said,

    And with that pleasant thought, I will have a cold beverage myself. Good to hear from you Gritty!

  3. 3

    ira ryan said,

    ah! the misadventures of the car free lifestyle. i have been there in front a toppled bike’s worth of cargo and you are a trooper for gittin R done. great post too. i really like the hulk pic.

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